I am currently accepting the fact that my mom has terminal small cell lung cancer. Though she is strong, I am not. I have come to realize that knowing you are going to die, is worse than a sudden death. At least, that is how I feel about the subject. It gives you too much idle time to think about every memory from as young as one can remember.
When you have small children at home, it is difficult to keep your feelings at bay. They sense it like dogs. They know you are sad. It is very difficult to try to explain, and sometimes not a good idea either.
I'm not sure where I am going with this post, except that I needed to put "it" out there. I like to use this blog as a journal to vent my feelings. And, in the process, maybe reach someone reading it. All I can say is "don't smoke", "love your children", "learn to appreciate who/where/what you came from". What does not kill us will ultimately make us stronger. I hope that is true in the end.
Thanks for letting me vent,
Jeannie
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