How To Speak to Your Children

When it came to disipline, I was clueless. I can say that, now that I have learned some new techniques on how to talk to your children. Apparently, we condition our kids to respond sort of the way a prisoner responds to corporal punishment. Corporal punishment meaning to control, demean, and or strike a person. How many times have you threatened or bribed your kids to eat or go potty using a stern voice? Believe or not, that is not ok.
I recently received an audio disc called "Dawn Talk". It is by this woman who has over 60,000 hours as a caregiver with children. She has a bunch of credits to her name as well. But, the important thing is that she knows first hand what really works with kids. I started to try her techniques. Both my husband and myself were astounded to see the results. I don't even recognise my kids anymore. I had no idea that my children could be so nice! I find that my stress level has come down tremendously; and that is a huge accomplishment in this home of 3 children. I used to think I gave birth to unruly animals, but apparently not. I am so pleased with this cd, that I can't wait to get to the second disc. That's right, I haven't even got through the first one yet, and it is working wonders!
The basic jist of the whole program is to speak to your children like you are creating a visual picture for them. Kids comprehend things visually. So by telling them "No", you are not creating a visual picture. But by saying "That is not for throwing", you are creating a visual picture. I have hardly used the word "No" around here these past few days. The nice thing is that my kids don't use the word "No" much either. They really do try to model us.
The best part about this whole discovery, is that my kids are happier. I am seeing more creativity out of them. They are much more pleasant to be with. They tell me that I'm there best friend, and how much they love me. I almost want to cry. It really is an awesome product. So, if you are having a problem communicating with unruly children. It may not be them that's the problem, but rather, the way you are speaking with them. I would highly recommend getting "Dawn Talk" from Amazon.com. I hope everyone finds this as helpful as I did.

Thanks again for letting me vent,
Jeannie

A Good Mom?

Do you ever wonder if you are a good mom? I ask myself that question every day. What pressure! What resposibility! To think that you are molding your children's future and their little minds. What if you make a misteake? Will they talk about it in therapy when the're 30? Sometimes it feels like the weight of the world is on my shoulders.

The hardest part of parenting for me, is dealing with the guilt and the worry. I worry about things that won't even take part in their lives for another 16 years or so. I feel guilty that I did not give them what they wanted or needed. I feel guilty that I may have hurt their self-esteem in some way.

I think venting to other adults and having a sense of accountability for your actions and thoughts, is essential to being a good mom/parent. I make my husband my accountability partner. I tell him when I think I did a horrible job of being a mom one day, and a great job of being a mom the next. I don't keep any secrets about things that I said to my children, that may creep up to bite me in the butt at a later date. My kids love to repeat every new thing that comes out of my mouth!

A good behavior chart keeps my 3 kids in check. I give stars for good behavior. Consequently, I take stars away for bad behavior. I am learning not to be negative, and try to give most situations a positive spin. It's hard to do. Sometimes you just have to walk away and take a deep breath.

If I can get through a day having had a shower, all the kids ate, are clean, and had a decent bowel movement, the floor is not a complete disaster, and they told me they love me at least once.....then I can lay my head on the pillow at night and know that I was a good mom today.

Thanks for letting me vent,
Jeannie